My Dad once said to me, "You know, in all the years we've been a family, I look around and I think, I never really taught
you kids anything." I believe this comment came from the fact that so many of us went into careers that had nothing to do with
the career that he chose for himself. I went home that night and put together this:
Tibute to my Father . . . All the Things He Taught Us
Love of Family and Friends
No matter what anyone in the family has done, you've been there to support us and love us. Whether we disobeyed or
made you proud, you've loved us. We always knew we were loved, even when the words weren't spoken. Love was something
that was felt. We knew you were there for us. We knew you loved us enough to take care of us. And we all learned
from your love how to love others. Each of us has shared relationships with family and friends that cannot be taken away.
Respect for Ourselves and Others
You warned us from an early age not to bring reproach upon our family name. You taught us to stay away from things
that would embarrass us or our family. You taught us to stand up and not let others take advantage of us.
Integrity
Regardless of the situation, we knew that we should always do what's right. You taught us, through your example,
not to go after things that would be harmful to us. You taught us that, even though others might do this or that, it didn't mean
we had to follow them. Stand on your own twe feet! Do the right thing.
The Art of Sharing
How many times did you teach us to share? It wasn't just on Halloween or Easter, when our baskets were
full. It wasn't just about sharing toys and candy either. It was about a pre-teen neice who had nowhwere else to go when
her mother had to be hospitalized. It was about foster kids and neighborhood kids whose parents didn't care. It was
hundreds of meals around the dinner table shared with releatives and friends.
Honesty
Kids lie. Kids fib. Kids tell half truths. But you taught us in many different ways to be honest and not
lie. You used wedding cake with ketchup, mustard and chocolate sauce poured over it, as well as other silly examples to show us the
importance of honesty. You showed us that a lie hurts much more than the truth, and not just in a physical
way.
Kindness
You worked so hard plastering. You came home exhausted but still managed to help Mum with us kids. You played with us and
anyone else who happened to be there. When your clients didn't pay, you'd let them slide, knowing some of them were having
financial problems too. And how many times was your hand out to offer me and many, many others, help in times of
need. Countless times.
Sportsmanship
Dad, you played with us, but while we played you taught us how to work together. You showed us that, even in losing,
we win. You'd put together teams of players, whether it was softball, basketball or three-legged races, and you made sure that
everyone felt like a winner!
Dedication
There is no other man I know who has been such a dedicated husband and father as you, Dad. Through all the
stressors of growing into a very large family, while maintaining an intense physical workload, you still smiled and hugged Mum when you got
home. You still chased us around the floor with newspaper hats and spears, bringing giggles of delight to all of us. The
most important thing you did was to come after work every night. We never had to worry, as some of our friends and their mothers
did, about whether or not you'd be home for supper. We were sure that our dad wasn't going to stop off at the local pub or meet
some woman in a dark restaurant. You were and are dedicated. And that gave all of us kids a strong sense of
security.
A G
reat Work Ethic
You also taught us how to work hard for what we needed or wanted. From the earliest of days we paid room and board in order to
prepare us for the outside world. We helped you and Mum, of course, but, ultimately, it taught us how to manage our
money. When was it that any of us was lazy? When have we just sat around and waited for the world to just drop the
ultimate job into our laps? Never! We have all gone after what we wanted. We worked for it, just as you
did. Your example and instruction was crucial to us being successful in the workplace.
The Importance of Faithfulness
This is a tough one for me. Even though I've had
multiple failed marriages, I have seen in your marriage to Mum the importance of loving, cherishing and remaining faithful to one
person. You have loved her continuously and quite publicly. Everyone we know (and even some people we don't!) has
witnesed your love and devotion to her. And don't think for a minute that any of us has wanted a marriage with any less
devotion. If you ask each one, you'll probably get the same answer. "We had the best example of a faithful father a
child could ever want."
Discipline
Where would any of us be without discipline? Sure, you've had times when you wish you hadn't been so firm, but who
hasn't? What parent hasn't made mistakes? The fact is, you raised us with great values and morals. Most of the
discipline we received was self-discipline. You taught us how to refrain from instant
gratification. "Wait!" how many times did we hear that word growing up? "Wait!" And
I don't regret it one bit. And I don't regret the discipline I received either. It taught me to be strong and to avoid
things that would have otherwise been dangerous or harmful to me.
Patience
I know fathers who have one or two children, and they can't stand to be in the same room with them. They can't
take the noise or the interruption or the tapping or the humming. But I remember distinctly when I was growing up, I could walk
into the living room, where you were watching a ball game, and ask you anything. You didn't bark at me or tell me to be
quiet. And if Mum really needed to just get out of the house, you'd leave your ball game and take her for a ride. You're
the same way today, and I love you for it.
Entrepreneurship
When you were but a young man, you stepped out and started your own plastering business. It was dirty, grueling
work, but you did it anyway. I realize that it is more than just pasting white gunk onto a wall. Plastering is an
art. That makes you an Artisan and an excellent one at that! I remember standing watching you work, making beautiful lines
and swirls. I loved it! Now, let's take a look at what your children have picked up from your entreprenerial
spirit!
Jim owns and teaches martial arts in his own
studio. He is also quite an accomplished singer and musician.
Tom owned his own hand-carved signed business: Sign
Cellar. Then, there's LTA Media and Storykeepers. Tom is also an accomplished musician and has had other
business ventures as well.
John owned his own plastering business and is a wonderful
handyman. Wow! I wonder where he learned that? John is a comedien, an excellent rythym guitarist and singer as
well.
J
oan is a published writer, which is
awesome! She's also a crafter and makes beautiful quilts. She's a great vocalist as well. Joan is a
caretaker to her husband, who has been wheelchair-bound for about 20 years! That definitely takes talent!!
Susan (me) Right out of high school, I went into office
work. My talent is definitely with a keyboard. I've worked for lawyers, doctors and in call centers, going from a
representative into management within 3 years. I write stories, poetry and tributes and I play the guitar and sing (mostly
harmony).
Kathy has had a colorful work-life. She has enjoyed a
fantastic musical career. She ran her own daycare, sold Discovery Toys for years as a successful manager! She has also
sold real estate and owned two Curves' franchises!
Tim learned the plastering trade from you and owned his own
successful business for many, many years. He remodedeled both Massachusetts homes, eventually moved to Tennessee and began building
homes. Currently, he is running successful call centers in Tennessee and Georgia.
Dan also learned plastering from you and owned his
own business. Then, when he could no longer physically do the job, he went into web design (a huge career
change). Now, he does decorative concrete and is heavily involved in Storykeepers.
Joe owns his own cleaning business, has a terrific musical career,
both crooning the standards and singing country ballards. He has performed for years and has a huge following, especially in the
Mobile, Al area. He even ran a call center for a short period of time, before the economy took a downturn..
Mike owned his own computer repair company, did beautiful
landscaping, remodeled his home. And on top of all that, he is an extremely talented writer, composer and
guitarist.
I'm sure there are other things my siblings and I have done that are not outlined here. The point is: You put
the desire and courage into all of us to go out there and make it happen! Thank you, Dad.
Music and Entertaining
Song is the essence of every one of our souls. It was built into us before we could speak. I\'m sure we rocked
back and forth and sang baby lullaby's when we were in the crib. Joan, Kathy and I have vivid memories of you playing the guitar
while we picked up after dinner. It was there we learned to harmonize. And it was in the living room as we listened to you
and Mum singing together, that we learned how music soothes the soul and brings people together. No matter what the financial
situation, there was always song. There was always harmony. And the harmony of music flooded over into the harmony of the
home. We twelve human beings lived in the same house and grew together. Where do you think the boys, Kathy and I got our
love of the guitar? Oh, you can say the boys got it from their friends, but Dad, that isn't true! It all began with
you. You introduced us to the old Gibson way before any of us were old enough to have friends with guitars.
Entertaining others is something that seemed natural for you and Mum. And unless I had heard the wonderful story of your shyness
as a young man, I would have gone on believing that you were bred to entertain!! But now I know it's something you had to work
hard at, and that makes it all the more special. Deep inside your heart and soul was an entertainer like no other. Still
shy about your abilities, no one noticed. All we knew is how much you loved it. You taught us to love it too, and it goes
on still today, even in the hearts of some of your grandchildren. I hope it continues on forever!
Contentment
Contentment is something that comes from deep within. Growing up we had no concept of whether we had more or less than
others. You kept that between you and Mum. In fact, on nights when we shared French bread with peanut butter on it or
hotdogs with cheese and tomato under the broiler, we thought we were getting a treat! The fact is, those were times when money was
scarce, and you must have been concerned about whether you'd be able to feed all of us. While other families were able to take
their kids to dinner or to a movie, you couldn't. But we didn't mind. Why, we had the best dad in the whole wide
world! He entertained us and our friends. Our dad took polyethylene plastic and a water hose and made a super-slippery
slide on a hot summer's day. No one else's dad did that. Our dad helped us build snow forts and used a simple newspaper
to provide hours of fun. While other parents spent lots of private time together, you shared it with us watching a Christmas movie,
playing cards and games, or fashioning a sled out of a large cardboard box. And in all of these simple, fun-filled ways, you taught
us to be content. I've never wanted the fanciest of things. I only wanted happiness and have enjoyed being content with
what I have had.
Dad, all of these things I treasure and hold close to my heart. For they are the very essence of the man you are. And
there is nothing more wonderful than looking back and reflecting on all the great things my father has taught me.
I love you,
Susan
